Why Does It Hurt 😐

How can a simple kind gesture lead to sadness. I thought I could tell you happy birthday and feel nothing. I mean it’s just a simple happy birthday. As I hit send on that Happy 27th Birthday LB text my anxiety kicked in. Now the wait for the reply started. What will he say, should I have reached out. I began to tell my mind be still be at ease because you already hit send and there is nothing you can do about it. Shortly after he replied. Now I’m afraid to even open the message. I stared at his name on my screen for a few minutes then I told myself to snap out of it. The text said Thank you, Reachel! With his favorite emoji at the end. The craziest thing was my heart dropped after I looked at the emoji. To a normal person it’s just an emoji but to me it was more than that. The reason is because that was his corny flirt emoji and I loved it. With a heavy heart I just want to lay back down and go to sleep.

If I was talking to my oh so awesome mentor/father figure he’d tell me remember facts vs feelings. If you’re reading this say a prayer for me 🙏🏾. This great man would also tell me you know it’s ok to not be ok? Well today is one of those days that I’m not ok and I don’t have enough in me to pretend that I am.

I know today is a significant day for you as well and my prayer is that God will comfort you and the fam 🙏🏾.

Until next time…….. God is Love…… Love, Peace and Hair Grease…..

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