Is It The Marriage or The Wedding That I Want?

It’s Monday, It’s Monday, It’s Monday. Welcome to week two of our be a better you journey. If you reading this that means you made the decision to be happy and to become a better version of yourself. I hope and pray that if you are not there yet that you are at least working towards being there. Today I want to talk about marriage and the wedding.

Have you ever listened to a song and thought man I want that played at my wedding? I have a million times.

Cues Alicia Keys: I was wondering maybe
Could I make you my baby
If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy
Or would it be so beautiful either way I’m sayin’
If you ask me I’m ready

Then switch to Jagged Edge:Meet me in the altar in your white dress
We ain’t getting no younger, we might as well do it
Been feeling all the while girl I must confess
Girl let’s just get married
I just wanna get married

As I listen to these songs and envision hearing them at my wedding I realize that’s what wrong with this generation. Too often people are getting married to say they did it. We live in a world that says you should be married in your 20s. This mentality causes people to fall victim to the song: we ain’t getting younger we might as well do it…. let’s just get married, i just want to get married.

Let me be clear, I think marriage is a beautiful thing and I pray one day I will get married. I constantly get asked Rae when are you going to get married or Auntie why aren’t you married yet? Adults get married. Or auntie we think you should get married so you can be happy and have awesome kids (that melts my heart). The different pleas and questions about me getting married or why I’m not married yet has created this unwavering pressure. Some days I feel like I’m going to lose it. If you’re not careful the world will have you thinking that something is wrong with you because you’re not married. I know my loved ones mean well and they just want me to be happy.

Lately I’ve been saying I want to go to a wedding… who’s getting married next? This has caused me to reevaluate what it is I want for my life. Do I want a marriage or do I want a wedding so everyone can leave me alone? The divorce rate is insane and it makes me think how many of these couples wanted the marriage and how many wanted the wedding?

I dream about the day I meet my future husband and the life we will have. I’ve decided I want the marriage and not just the wedding. I’m realizing that it is vital for me to understand what marriage is all about and what it means to be a wife. A lot of people like the title wife or wifey or husband or hubby but not all of them understand their role as a wife or husband. My mentors, big sis and big bros in christ are straight shooters and they let me know that marriage is work but it’s worth it.

As I listen to Sam Smith: I’m waiting patiently though time is moving slow
I have one vacancy and I wanted you to know that
You’re the one designed for me
A distant stranger that I will complete
I know you’re out there, we’re meant to be
So keep your head up and make it to me

Man I love that song :-)…. It reminds me to remain prayerful and hopeful because no matter how bad people paint singleness I know there is a man out there that’s just for me. Singleness is a time for me to work on being a better christian woman and preparing myself for the man that God has just for me. The key on this journey is to not let your singleness cause you to panic and settle for just the wedding when  you deserve the marriage. Yes some days will be hard because let’s face it everyone needs someone, but the wait is worth.

Lesson Learned: The Wait is Sexy, The Wait is Discipline, The Wait is Powerful, The Wait is Faith, The Wait is Maturity, The Wait is Preparation. During the wait you should strive to develop a better relationship with God. Ask God to show you what areas of your life needs improvement so you can be a better future wife or husband. The greatest lesson is do not, I repeat do not let singleness force you to settle for just the wedding when you deserve the marriage.

If you’re feeling lonely or feeling like you got the short end of the stick or that you’ll be single forever reach out to your accountability partner and have a honest moment with them. Being single is not always easy but it is not a disease. I am starting to appreciate my singleness, I may not love it but I know God has someone special just for me. On this journey I choose to believe that God loves me and that there’s a man out there with my name on him :-). This week take the time to search within yourself and ask the hard questions: What does it mean to be a wife? What does it mean to be a husband? Am I ready to fulfill that role? Am I settling for the wedding or am I waiting for the marriage I deserve? Is singleness getting to me?

Until next time….. God is Love…….. Love, Peace and Hair Grease……..

~RaeTheBlogger ❤️


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